Sample pages from The Book of Sober

Chapter 17 · Talking Back to the Pitch

The Pitch, up close sample

Verbatim excerpt (British English spelling as in the book). About 360 words from the teaching section that introduces the Pitch.

You met the Pitch at the start of this book, and again in Chapter 1, as the voice selling the next drink. It’s your drinking thoughts, pictured as a salesperson: a smooth, persistent, rather charming voice whose only job is to sell you a drink.

Now it’s time to get to know it properly.

The Pitch knows you very well. It knows exactly what to say and when. When you’re stressed, it offers relief. When you’re happy, it offers celebration. When you’re bored, it offers excitement. When you’re sad, it offers comfort.

It’s never short of a reason. And, like all good salespeople, it focuses entirely on the benefits and skates over the costs. It never mentions the 3 a.m. waking, the empty bank account or the guilt.

It also changes its tune through the day. At nine in the morning, hungover, it agrees with you completely: never again. By four in the afternoon it has softened: maybe just a couple, it’s been a long week. By six it’s not even arguing. It’s simply assumed, as if the decision was made hours ago and you just forgot. If you’ve ever wondered how the promise you made in the morning disappeared by evening, this is how.

The Pitch didn’t break the promise. It waited until you were tired and quietly rewrote it.

Giving the voice a name does something useful. It creates a little distance between you and the thought. Instead of “I want a drink,” you can notice, “Ah, that’s the Pitch talking.” The thought is still there, but it’s no longer automatically in charge.

You might prefer a different name. Some people picture a pushy street vendor, a bored teenager, or a slightly shifty estate agent. Choose whatever makes you smile, because a touch of humour makes the voice less powerful.

Naming the drinking voice isn’t a new idea, and other writers have given it their own names. This book pictures it as a salesperson because that’s how it behaves. It’s always selling, it always leaves out the cost, and every pitch it makes has small print. Reading that small print is the skill this chapter teaches.

From The Book of Sober, Chapter 17: Talking Back to the Pitch (“The Pitch, up close”).